2001
Talkin' 'Bout da Movies
Click here to read my original Oscar Pix!
Another Oscar ceremony come and gone. Usually I'd use this space to make snarky comments about the broadcast, but this year I was traveling in Europe with my sister Vanessa and didn't get a chance to watch it. So I think I'll fill up the space with some interesting little tidbits of information I learned in Europe.
Please note the addition this year of an overall graph of performance, in which I tally up my results from the last four years. You may find that I haven't sucked as much as you thought I did.
Nominees:
Chocolat
Crouching
Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Erin Brockovich
Gladiator
Traffic
Who Should Win: Traffic
Who Will Win: Erin Brockovich
Who DID Win: Gladiator
I had a very hard time deciding whether to predict Gladiator or Erin Brockovich. I finally went with Erin Brockovich because I figured there was no way the Academy was going to pick a movie that, good though it was, would have faded into summertime memory along with Independence Day and The Lost World: Jurassic Park if it had starred Arnold Schwarzenegger in the lead role. Once again I've underestimated the Academy's taste for mediocrity—or maybe I haven't, given that Erin Brockovich was even more mediocre than Gladiator. Perhaps this story has no moral at all.
There are no water fountains in Europe. If you want water, you have to buy it in bottles. Water fountains are just one of those things, like pay phones, that you don't notice until you need one and it's not there.
Nominees:
Javier Bardem,
Before Night
Falls
Russell Crowe,
Gladiator
Tom Hanks,
Cast Away
Ed Harris,
Pollock
Geoffrey Rush,
Quills
Who Should Win: Ed Harris, Pollock
Who Will Win: Russell Crowe, Gladiator
Who DID Win: Russell Crowe, Gladiator
No surprise here. This was a pretty weak category this year, and Russell Crowe did a halfway decent job, though I still think this is actually a late Best Actor award for The Insider.
In Poland the restrooms aren't marked with an M and an F or with little male and female pictograms, but with a circle (for women) and a triangle (for men). This is so non-intuitive that I can't imagine how it got started. It's a good thing I was with my sister, who knew the system, or I might never have been able to go to the bathroom at all.
Nominees:
Joan Allen,
The
Contender
Juliette
Binoche,
Chocolat
Ellen Burstyn,
Requiem
for a Dream
Laura Linney,
You
Can Count on Me
Julia Roberts'
Breasts,
Erin Brockovich
Who Should Win: Laura Linney, You Can Count On Me
Who Will Win: Julia Roberts' Breasts, Erin Brockovich
Who DID Win: Julia Roberts' Breasts, Erin Brockovich
How I wished I could be wrong on this one, but no such luck. I said this would be the easiest category to call, and I was right.
The score thus far: Dorothy Dandridge, no Oscars; Barbara Stanwyck, no Oscars; Greta Garbo, no Oscars; Julia Roberts, 1 Oscar.
And speaking of crap: Pay toilets, all but gone in the United States, are still very much in use in Europe. Usually you pay by handing a coin to an attendant stationed outside the bathrooms. The attendant doesn't do anything besides stand there and collect your money, and as she's surely getting paid to stand there I can't see how they manage to make any money off the operation. Why not just fire the attendant and make the toilets free?
Nominees:
Jeff Bridges,
The
Contender
Willem Dafoe,
Shadow of the Vampire
Benicio Del
Toro,
Traffic
Albert Finney,
Erin Brockovich
Joaquin Phoenix,
Gladiator
Who Should Win: Benicio Del Toro, Traffic
Who Will Win: Albert Finney, Erin Brockovich
Who DID Win: Benicio Del Toro, Traffic
Hey! Benny was starting to get some buzz in the weeks prior to the awards show, but I really thought that was all hot air; this category was pretty wide open this year, but racial and ethnic minorities don't have a particularly good track record at the Oscars. I hope that Del Toro's victory sparks the beginning of a trend. Two trends, actually: more actors of color winning, and more winners who actually deserve it.
Beatrix, the "bicycle-riding queen" of the Netherlands, is famous for her modesty and accessibility. The modernist portrait of Queen Beatrix on Dutch coins is one of the best coin portraits I've ever seen. When Beatrix' mother Queen Juliana fled to Canada during the war, the Canadian Parliament temporarily ceded the maternity room at Civic Hospital to Holland so that Beatrix' younger sister Margriet could be born a Dutch citizen on Dutch soil. Princess Margriet is the only royalty ever born in North America.
Nominees:
Judi Dench,
Chocolat
Marcia
Gay Harden,
Pollock
Kate Hudson,
Almost
Famous
Frances McDormand,
Almost
Famous
Julie Walters,
Billy
Elliot
Who Should Win: Marcia Gay Harden, Pollock
Who Will Win: Kate Hudson, Almost Famous
Who DID Win: Marcia Gay Harden, Pollock
This is one that nobody saw coming; Kate Hudson was thought to have had it in the bag. I'm happy that my choice won, but not as happy as I'd be if I really cared about the category this year.
Belgium has two official languages, French and Flemish (a language similar to Dutch). Belgium is Belge in Flemish and Belgique in French. Brussels is Brussel in Flemish and Bruxelles in French. Half of the coins in circulation are printed in Flemish and half in French, which makes for some slightly more interesting pocket change, like the 50 State Quarters in the US.
Nominees:
Stephen
Soderbergh,
Traffic
Stephen Soderbergh,
Erin Brockovich
Ang Lee,
Crouching
Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Ridley Scott,
Gladiator
Stephen
Daldry,
Billy Elliot
Who Should Win: Stephen Soderbergh, Traffic
Who Will Win: Ang Lee, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Who DID Win: Stephen Soderbergh, Traffic
I guess the Soderbergh fans in the Academy must have acted more rationally than I expected them to, concentrating their votes on the more deserving picture to avoid splitting them.
You go to a decent-sized grocery store in Poland and are presented with, like, dozens of different kinds of kielbasa. Who knew it wasn't all the same stuff?
Nominees:
Kenneth Lonergan,
You
Can Count On Me
Cameron Crowe,
Almost Famous
Susannah Grant,
Erin Brockovich
Lee Hall,
Billy Elliot
David H. Franzoni
and John Logan
and William
Nicholson, Gladiator
Who Should Win: Kenneth Lonergan, You Can Count On Me
Who Will Win: Susannah Grant, Erin Brockovich
Who DID Win: Cameron Crowe, Almost Famous
This is another big surprise, because Almost Famous was almost forgotten (ha!) in the nominations this year. I wasn't as thrilled by Almost Famous as a lot of feelm creeteeks were this year, perhaps because I'm not a gray-ponytailed proto-hipster in my late 40's who fondly remembers the music of the early 1970s and secretly wishes I could have been deflowered by a couple of overripe rock groupies who looked like Anna Paquin and Fairuza Balk back when I was a hollow-chested little teenaged sprog with a pile of Creem back issues and an Allman Brothers poster. But never mind that. If I weren't so mad that You Can Count On Me was denied the Oscar that rightfully belonged to it, I might even concur with this year's selection, because I haven't seen Billy Elliot and the rest of the nominees were so uninspiring.
In 1925, the Eiffel Tower became the largest billboard in history when the Citröen car company spelled out its name on the tower from top to bottom using 250,000 light bulbs.
Nominees:
Robert Nelson
Jacobs,
Chocolat
Wang Hui-ling,
James Schamus,
and Kuo Jung Tsai,
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Ethan Coen,
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Stephen Gaghan,
Traffic
Steven Kloves,
Wonder
Boys
Who Should Win: Ethan Coen, O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Who Will Win: Stephen Gaghan, Traffic
Who DID Win: Stephen Gaghan, Traffic
No surprises here. Chocolat was surely included as a sop to Miramax. Crouching Tiger was a good movie but not because of its script. O Brother was a comedy and therefore didn't stand a chance. Wonder Boys was fairly decent but was largely ignored when the nominations were announced.
Polish women are gorgeous! Just about every young woman I saw in Warsaw had a model's good looks, with wide-set eyes, a full, healthy head of hair, and a fine facial bone structure. I've never seen anything like it. There must be something in the genome.
Nominees:
Peter Pau,
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
John Mathieson,
Gladiator
Lajos Koltai,
Malèna
Roger Deakins,
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Caleb Deschanel,
The
Patriot
Who Should Win: Peter Pau, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Who Will Win: Peter Pau, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Who DID Win: Peter Pau, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
And so the only Triple Crown in this year's pix goes to Crouching Tiger's lush cinematography. This was such an easy pick that I feel a little guilty taking credit for it, which of course does not mean that I won't.
There is a street in eastern Berlin called Christburger. "Mmmmmmm," Vanessa and I Homer Simpsoned. "Christburger."
That's it. Next year's wrap-up will probably be longer because I expect to be in the country for the broadcast. Unless I get an opportunity to travel to, like, Australia or something, in which case I'll be bringing you more exciting tidbits from around the world. See you.
—Paul
April 21, 2001